tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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