Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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