Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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