Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
