You work out of a Hotel?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
