moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
