I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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