the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
