I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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