do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
