We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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