Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
