So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
