Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
