Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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