He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Never joke about your clitoris.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
