but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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