hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize