I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
