Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
