pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
