they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
