She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
