we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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