If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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