It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
