Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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