I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
