we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
