how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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