I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
