I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Found the puke drawer
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize