He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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