ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
