This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
