I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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