I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
