I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
