it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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