Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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