I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
