We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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