My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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