69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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