hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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