Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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