Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
