Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
