yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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