when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
