I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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