my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
