Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize