I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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