"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
