She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
