last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
