Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
