The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
