Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i don't like sucking hair
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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